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also known as j ro | dressica | ross
"Hey, did one of you tell Stanley that I had asthma? Because I don’t. If it gets out they won’t let me scuba. If I can’t scuba, then what’s all this been about? What am I working toward?"
— Creed Bratton, The Office
"My cousin makes the most amazing romantic birdhouse mailboxes. I know I shouldn’t tell you, but you’ll still be surprised when you see it. You’re not registered for a birdhouse, are you?"
— Phyllis Vance, The Office
"Am I worried that Jim and David are having a meeting without me? No. Because we are the three amigos. And once in awhile, on of the amigos will go off to the bathroom while the other two have a secret meeting."
— Michael Scott, The Office
"I hate, hate, hate being left out. Whether it’s not being picked for a team or being picked for a team and then showing up and realizing that the team doesn’t exist or that the sport doesn’t exist. I should have known…poop ball."
— Michael Scott, The Office (January 11 - Office Desk Calendar)
  • Kevin: Michael, are you okay? Did you throw up in there?
  • Michael: No, I'm just pooping. You know how I be.
  • Kevin: It smells like throw up in there.
  • Michael: Crazy world, lots of smells.
  • Pam: Michael, do not let your imagination run out of control.
  • Michael: Well, that's easy for you to say. You have a bad imagination, it's stupid. I live in a fantasy world.
  • Jim: You do?
"People tell me things. I guess I have a face you can trust. I think it’s because of my low cheekbones."
— Dwight Schrute, The Office (January 5 - Office Desk Calendar)
  • Andy: Pardon moi, monsieurs. I took the liberty of preparing for you a cheese platter, which I will place here on the eastern wall of the conference room.
  • David Wallace: A cheese platter?
  • Andy: Oui, oui, monsieur. From the Wisconsin region, a nice, firm cheddar. Also from the great state of Wisconsin, an aged Parmesan. Here you will find a cheddar-style spread, which has reacted nicely with the air to form a light rind, which I think you'll find both challenging and delicious. At that point, I would recommend you take a quick trip south of the border to the great state of Illinois, where you will find this fine blue cheese dressing. I I may be so bold, it's a lot of fun to let the goldfish take a little swim in the blue cheese. Bon appetit.
"I would say that my greatest talent is being the best man, woman or child to ever run this branch, ever."
— Michael Scott, The Office (January 3 - Office Desk Calendar)
  • Pam: We haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant.
  • Jim: What with her being unmarried, knocked up by some guy. The "yakety-yaks" in this office would have a field day.
  • Pam: Yeah, and we don't want them at the wedding thinking Jim's being marched down the aisle by my dad with a shotgun.
  • Jim: Wait, there's not going to be shotguns?
  • Pam: Nope.
  • Jim: No shotgun. Because that changes everything.
  • Pam: Can't back out now, Halpert.
  • Jim: What are you going to do about it? There's no shotgun. So free at last, free at last.
  • Pam: No, keep it up.